What once was has gone
An old structure has fallen
New foundation poured
photo credit: Pinterest
“Resentment and bitterness build the cage that only punishes ourselves.”
― Jeffrey Fry
Someone hurts you. Maybe something said or an action against you. You feel the sting deep in the depths of your soul. You might ask yourself “What did I do to you?” or “Why me?” Feelings of resentment sink in and sometimes they get embedded so deep you actually forget about it, but it is there like a dark cloud waiting to pour.
We can take a shovel and bury it and walk away, thinking we have gotten over the hurt. Days, months and even years might pass, then… without warning… something happens that brings that hurt and resentment rising like an overly active volcano. Bitter feelings towards the person or persons that caused your hurt, bitter feelings towards yourself for thinking you were over it and allowing it to resurface.
Been there, done that. Truthfully, I was more upset with myself for letting that dark cloud linger, not over me but inside.
What can we do? First off, I am not looking through goody two shoe, rose colored glasses and not naivety. There are some wounds inflicted that leave us visibly and invisibly scarred. There are some situations in which we must heal by letting go and moving on. It is possible. We cannot let resentment fester inside. It is poisonous. If you know in your heart that you are not the cause of someone’s negative actions towards you, then you have to stand taller than them, believing in you and your character. Resentment, bitterness, holding grudges, only weigh you down and keep your life heavy. Dead legs are hard to walk with, especially carrying all that.
So much goes on in life on a daily basis. So much is happening within us and around us. Guess what though? Everything that happens is not about us individually. Yes, there may be things going on with those closest to us, friends and or acquaintances, but it is their own personal experience, designed for them. It may involve us indirectly by some minuscule percentage and we take it to heart, allowing it to affect our mood and well being.
“It’s not about me,” now let’s repeat that…”It’s not about me.” Let go of that selfish thinking. Don’t allow your ego to rob someone else of their life experience. The best thing we can do is be supportive, encouraging and depending on the experience, share in their happiness.
photo credit: Watermelon Media
If we are not willing to let go knotty and prickly issues in time, our mental frame can be wrecked before long. One must be prepared to get the monkey off the back, eventually. – Erik Pevernagie
We need to flush our minds at times because we have a tendency to carry to much in it at times. Holding on to every little thing that happens and finding ourselves with the heavy head syndrome. Our actual physical head feels so heavy we can hardly stand from being dizzy and disoriented thinking so much.
Have you ever gotten worked up over something that was out of your control? I mean really upset because in that moment you couldn’t do anything about what was happening, you could only sit/stand there and wait for the time to pass. Sometimes we allow preconceived notions to lead us to believe we know why a particular incident is taking place and from there we jump to conclusions and I mean jump into the deep end of conclusions. We think we know the answer when in fact we are in the dark until the reason of the matter comes to light. Sometimes we’re right and sometimes wrong. Either way, we get all worked up and upset because we just don’t know what is going on.
Then comes the hording of thoughts about everything and everybody. “Why is so and so this?” “Why me?” “Why can’t it be like this way or that way?” We build up so much in our minds that these thought bricks become heavier and heavier until “oh boy,” headache time, high blood pressure time, angry time, resentful, jealous, you name it! Just not a good time…ouch!
I do my best to let go of things out of my control. Like it or not, we cannot be in control of everything. I do my best not to let my mind get flooded overthinking. That only leads to a mental shutdown. Life is not perfect and life doesn’t always go exactly as we want and I’m not a behavioral specialist, so I can’t control someone else’s thoughts and actions. We just need to be careful and not allow ourselves to become heavy headed with so much. What is going to happen is going to happen. Life will continue from one moment to the next.
We can do our best to live, learn, grow and let go.
“When it comes to letting go, the heart and mind are playing a game of chess.”
We reach certain points in our life when change is inevitable. Due to our growing in age, maturity, spiritual, mental state, inner being and for various other reasons. Then comes the hard part of letting go so that whatever change is in progress, can happen and run its course.
Letting go is not an easy task. We become attached and separating from that attachment is difficult in some cases. We hold on because of the sentiment involved and or because of the fear of change. It is absolutely okay to be afraid, to have this natural feeling. We can talk tough, act bold, show no fear, but deep down it is there and we just cannot allow it to paralyze us.
When we reach that point on our life journey when we know that a change is needed in order for our walk to continue, we have to find the strength, courage and faith to let go of being settled in comfort and complacency. How often do we go along with the program and confuse that with actually living life? We are blessed with free will and the potential to do and experience great things. We cannot live life without expecting change to knock at our door.
The question is, will you answer and accept the invitation?